When you remember my walk upon this earth
look not into my steps with pity.
When you taste the tears of my journey
my spirit won't fill your cup
for that remains with me.
My story must be told
must remain in conscious memory
so my daughters won't cry my tears
or follow my tortured legacy.
Lovin' ain't a tricky thing
if it's coming from a healthy place
if it practices on self
if it ain't a stray bullet
hittin' & missin'.
You may say
maybe I should've loved him a little less
maybe I should've loved me a little more,
maybe I should've not believed
he'd never hit me again.
All those maybes will not bring me back -
not right his wrong.
My life was not his to take.
As your eyes glance my name
understand one I breathed,
walked, loved just like you.
I wish for all who glance my name
to know loved turned fear - kept me there
loved twisted to fear
kept me in a choke hold
cut off my air
blurred my vision.
I couldn't see how to break free.
I shoulda, told my family
I shoulda, told my friends
I shoulda, got that CPO
before the police let him go
but all those shoulda's can't bring me back,
when I liked so well
to cover the shame, to hide the signs.
If my death had to show what love isn't,
if my death had to show that love shouldn't hurt,
if my death had to make sure
another woman told a friend
instead of holding it in,
if my death reminds you
how beautiful and worthy you really are,
if my death reminds you to honor all you are daily,
Then remember my name,
Shout it from the center of your soul.
Wake me in my grave
Let me know my living was not in vain.
