Grandmother wore great, full, black dresses and a little gold watch on a chain and a black bonnet with sequins and feathers and a bigger black moire dresss for Sunday church. But in all that black she never looked severe. She had candy in her workbox and lavender in her handkerchief box ... She made us count ten when we got angry at each other, and she fixed us endless slices of bread and butter sprinkled with granulated sugar--despite the fact that Mother thought it bad for our teeth. And Grandmother hid us back of that voluminous skirt, one on either side, when Mother tried to catch us for a scolding. Everyone ended up laughing!
She was fortunate that she owned her own home and sensible enough to refuse any but a short visit to her daughters' who often begged her to come and stay. No wonder everyone wanted her! All her grandchildren, as well as the elders, adored her. Our young adoration, unfortunately, ran to begging for an endless succession of Grimm's fairy tales until her eyes were tired out. But I think the elders loved her because she never criticized any of them. As a matter of fact, she had a good word to say for everyone...
But mine wasn't the only grandmother like this. There were -- and are -- many such grandmothers... To children the word has wonderful and delightful meaning: it means someone who loves you but never blames or punishes you...
A grandmother can tell Johnny or Mary to wash his or her hands, or to spend more time reading, or to stand up straight, or not-to-eat-any-more-you'll-be-sick...
A grandmother can spoil and pet and encourage and bind up wounds of the spirit and praise-to-the-skies and be an admiring audience and an infinite lot of other things that mothers are not expected to be. She can do it, not only to her grandchildren, but to her grown-up children too, not to mention a whole host of friends, and even strangers...
So a grandmother must be a harbor of quiet and freedom from blame; a refuge where children can get a straighter and longer view of life as they munch on things that aren't absolutely the best in the world for them...
There is absolutely nothing to take the place of a good, old-fashioned grandmother. She may do a little harm now and then by spoiling her grandchildren, but nothing bad ever came from real love -- even an overdose of real love...
